So life is very interesting sometimes. And things happen I believe not only to test you but to make u stronger. I have been going through 2 weeks of hopefully getting stronger. I guess only time will tell. Lies r said, friendships are broken, and lines are crossed that should never be crossed. But I guess it is all for the better... It will be interesting to see what comes next, and how much more I can handle, but considering I'm still here and dealing, I think with God, I'm doing pretty well...

weird

so have u ever felt like a loser and like ur life is going no where? Thats where I am right now and whats sad is I know its not true, and its just a lie put n my head by satan but that doesn't mean that sometimes I don't let it get to me. Because sometimes we all do let stuff get to us. And it seems like increasingly more I feel like this and it just puts me n a funk and I don't like it!!!!!!!! So prayers would b awesome and God and I will try to hash this out... =)

December

As Christmas draws near and the year is rapidly coming to a close, it gets a person wondering about the future, and what is to come next. My best friend is getting married in a little over 7 months, I am so beyond excited for her and I can't wait for it, but it makes me reflect on my own life. Isn't it funny how you can everything planned out and one day it all changes and you no longer have any plans. And I am faced with the dilemma of what if I make a wrong choice? I feel like I'm at a point n my life where if I make a decision and its wrong I could screw up my whole life? And then also life is full of choices and how do you know until you make one if its right or wrong? I guess what I'm saying is I don't really know what to do, or where I should go from here, and to be honest, it scares the crap out of me...

Wow do I need to update this thing on a regular basis! hahaha ok so update... still no job and to be honest I think I am just scared to really try... I know it sounds weird but I don't wanna be rejected u know? But I am really gonna get on that. I'm trying! Prayers would be awesome! Oh and my grand parents r coming to stay at my house n like 2 days and my room is no where near ready so I will b cleaning for 2 days straight, again prayers would b awesome! I guess I just need prayer for strength, confidence, and grace because I think we all need a healthy dose of those every day!

guys

I was thinking today about stuff thats been happening to me and things that have been said to me, and I got to thinking, what makes guys think they can disrespect and talk to and treat women like they are objects? When did it become ok for a guy to call a woman a bitch because she won't dance with him or date him? It is every persons prerogative to choose who they want to date, or heck even talk to. Does that make a woman a bitch because she doesn't want to talk to you? No it doesn't. It just means that she doesn't want to talk to you, get over it and move on. Don't degrade and disrespect her because you got your feelings hurt. It happens deal and move on.

Ok wow its already August!

hahaha apparently I'm horrible at this whole blogging thing... I'm gonna try to be better I promise! Ok so let me see whats happened in the past few months... uuummmmmm I dated a guy who turned out to be an a-hole... big surprise there! hahaha oh my best friend is getting married in a year and I have been helping her with wedding planning which is so much fun! She bought her dress, has her caterer, and location! I'm sooo beyond excited for her! Still dealing with the male harem, as my friends have come to call it. The following of guys that I have, still haven't found the one yet. I figure I'm only 22 I have a long life ahead of me and I am still focusing on me and God so I really don't need a guy at the moment. It would be nice sometimes tho... I'm not lonely I'm just trying to deal with the being alone thing, u know? Some days are better than others but when u have people telling u that u are never gonna find anyone, thats when the hard days come. Trust me, I know I'm young and I know I have plenty of time to find one, and I'm not gonna settloe for just anyone... I want the perfect guy for me, and I know those people are just being stupid and are unhappy in their lives and I just pray for them, because theres nothing else I can do! :) Today is a good day though, I had lunch with the said engaged friend, and we went to Target, which is always a good day in my book!

Ok so so far this summer I have lost my job and trying to find a new one, but it has given me ample time to catch up with friends and to try to destress but I tell you sometimes its more stressful than not. I got to go to a friends beach house in Newport and I'm able to go line dancing a lot which I love! Its my favorite thing to do, plus its a fun way to workout. I've been trying to workout more which I have been so I feel better. Plus my birthday is coming up and is in like a month and a half! Not sure what I'm gonna do yet but I will soon :) So theres a mini update on me sorry its been so long!

Hello 2009

What a beautiful day it was to start off the new year of 2009! The sun was shining, the sky blue and I woke up to a house with my friends, 2 chihuahua's and the sound of the ocean! Thank u Katelyn for having me house sit, love u! hahaha Its the start of a new year, a brand new start! I've never been one to make resolutions, but I have decided somethings out.
1. I will worry more about myself than others, try and make myself happy.
2. Love where I'm at in life, no matter what the circumstances are, I'm going to love it.
3. Be joyful, with God's help, trust me, I can be joyful in even the most dire of circumstances!
4. Make sure my friends know how much I love them and appreciate them! They mean more to me than almost anything and without them, I don't know what I would do.
5. Live, laugh, love!

Everyone deserves to be happy, joyful and respected. I love u all more than words can say and your friendships to me are more precious than rubies, thanks Ally for the reference! Please don't ever forget that I love u, and wish u nothing but the best! With all my love, Jillian